It isn’t really a surprise that this charming lil’ contender stuck the landing. What was impressive that it was able to throw such a comedy gold closer on 30 minutes of quiet meditation about the “what comes next”, wrapped in a loud examination of nature versus nurture.

Watching that claustrophobic, clattering episode left me feeling like I was in a blender, whipped and slashed like so many frozen blueberries.

Sometimes the only way out is through…. overly ambitious pop culture pop music parody song.

Ooh, did you hear that? That was the sound of every heterosexual woman watching - and possibly even a few of our Sapphic sisters - experiencing spontaneous climax.

There was so much delightful stomping around in character development puddles this episode that I truly wanted to open this recap by relishing in cries of “Horsie training! Shirtless karaoke! Crafternoons!”

The show is now two for two on the early featuring of private parts. Last week it was the pre-credits pooping, this week’s it’s a post-priapism phallus.

This season finale lifted so brilliantly. It hurled itself into the stratosphere with an intoxicating mix of public acclamations, secret meetings, portentous dreams and mud wrestling.

This episode played with the nexus of power and class quite elegantly. Who deserves power? And more importantly - when and why might you share it?

Of all the things I was expecting in this episode, the Black Queen taking a pit stop on the Magical Mysaria Tour was not among them.

After the colossal impact - oh dear, poor choice of phrase - of last episode, I’m not surprised House of the Dragon scaled back on the epic in favour of Epicureanism.

Don’t get me wrong, the Battle of Rooks Rest and the slow build towards it was incredible, but right now I need a moment to simply seethe.

An incredibly tense final scene between two women characters realising a colossal screw up has occured could only be interrupted by FULL FRONTAL MALE NUDITY!

In an episode that covers between 24 to 72 hours after the foul murder of wee little Jaehaerys, “Rhaenyra the Cruel” is a masterclass in what happens when people disregard reason and double down on their emotions.

A grieving and distraught Queen Rhaenyra utters four words that sets in train a devastating sequence of horror that even she - as hellbent on revenge as she is - was unlikely to have predicted.

The decision to create separate Greens and Blacks trailers for House of the Dragon Season 2 was pretty inspired.

Let me start to remedy my dereliction in duty to you, dear readers, with a look at the most recent and comprehensive trailer for House of the Dragon Season 2. 

You don’t just take away a precious baby like that without expecting vengeance incarnate to come down on you harder than gym junkie seagull on a creatine chip.

I don’t want to shame anybody about having a foot fetish. Hell, I wish I had the kind of good-looking trotters that were worthy of an entry on Wikifeet.

After nearly 20 years of time jumps (more if you count the episode 1 pre-credit sequence naming Viserys as heir), Viserys had done the most he possibly could to bring the divided wings of House Targaryen back together…. annnnd then f*** it all up again.

My first thought watching this episode was “Could somebody please turn on a light?” Many of its scenes were so dimly lit I only knew what was going on by the subtitles, most of which involved the phrase “breathing heavily”.

After recognising Ser Harwin Strong’s talents last episode, all of a sudden BAM! There he was, ten years later but one hundred per cent more beefyl, more blue-eyed, more sexual, and oh-so-much-more curly-haired.

Slap my back and call me Heimlich because that guy just pulled a MANEOUVER on me.

Coming as it does, right in the middle of the season, the wedding is less carnival and more crucible, a bubbling stockpot of secrets and resentments.

Lordy lordy, Episode 4 sure delivered a fresh breath of air in the form of a dank sex pit in the Street of Silk. You could practically smell the bodily fluids. God knows if they have towels in that moist place, let alone baths.

When we deal with challenges in life, whether they be simple family quarrels, or life or death matters, how do we choose to handle them? Do we act with force, or compassion? Do we make bold moves, or subtle ones? Do we act like the hunter, or the prey?

Then Rhaenyra, silent and steady with her serving so far, bursts out with “Dad! We ride DRAGONS! Let me RIDE A DRAGON THERE! We can BURN THEM WITH OUR DRAGONS, DAD! DAD! ARE YOU LISTENING, DAD?”

I try to be as comprehensive as I can in the recaps, but clearly it’s a big show, with lots happening, so I’m bound to leave some things out. If this happens, I’m going to try to corral these thoughts for a sexy bit of content. “Sextras”, if you will.

Great characters, the promise of intrigue, some frankly uncalled-for gore, and a smashingly good candidate for Natalie’s “Who Will Become The New Object of My Slightly Perverted Fixation?” talent quest.

It gives both the history buff and rabid feminist in me a rush of energy and delight, because degustations on what constitutes female power are always delicious

In my ongoing quest for relevancy in an overly-saturated world of pop culture commentary, I FULLY intend to recap THE SHIT out of House of the Dragon.

Johnny walks into a diner, does some people-watching, then decides to re-enact a global version of the movie Liar Liar but with fewer farts in elevators and more public sex and self-mutilation.

You would THINK I’d be immediately drawn to a brooding, dressed-in-all-black type with distinctive hair and resting sad face. It IS my type. We saw ripples of Dream’s personality in this episode, but for the most part, it’s still hidden under the smooth, placid exterior of a more-than-a-god god.

I’ve got to say at this point that the CGI gargoyles have so far been the most captivating characters in The Sandman, Dark Sleepy Bo-bos Man himself notwithstanding.

With House of the Dragon bearing down on us like Drogon on that Lannister loot train in Series 7, I thought giving my recapping muscles a stretch with some quickfire practice would be a good idea.