I’m not sure how much I’ve spoken of my deep, deep love of Sex and the City over the years. I’m sure I must have thrown in a few references in my recaps or podcasts.
But yes, hello, my name is Natalie and I’m a Sex and the Cidiot.
Now I’m talking the original six series run, people. Honestly, I’ve only watched season one of And Just Like That. Che Diaz, the bizarrely unfunny but super box-ticky comedian character, seemed to throb like a buboe in the groin of the show, to the point where I felt like I needed a plague doctor mask just to watch it.
I’m no stand-up comedian (24 years of improvisation and many scripted comedies, but fair play to the purists), but it can’t have just been me who thought this, as the non-binary Mexican-Irish pansexual podcaster has been dropped from the upcoming third season.
Given the Trump administration’s hostility towards Mexico and gender non-conforming people in general, it’s possible Che Diaz has already been hauled off by ICE agents and secretly rendered to a supermax prison in El Salvador.
I’ve been thinking about the show a bit recently because the trailer for And Just Like That season 3 (reminding me I really should get around to watching season 2) was released, and because HBO Max recently launched in Australia, stripping everything but the first SATC movie from Binge.
It’s taken Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon too, of course. That is also annoying, and means I will have to sign up to HBO Max at some point because A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms will hit us later this year and boy oh boy, I will be recapping it.
But I don’t rewatch those shows the way I do with Sex and the City. It’s my ultimate comfort watch. It’s just really effing well-written, friends. The acting is great. The situational set-ups are delicious. The jokes are so good. The puns are excellent. Samantha is uniformly hilarious, 100 per cent of the time.
This scene alone for me puts the show into legendary status for me. There has never been a more brilliantly acted and perfectly pitched petty fight between a couple onscreen than Carrie and Aidan arguing over “stuff”.
And unlike every bloody “pick me” girl with an opinion and a social media platform, I’m actually really fucking FINE with Carrie Bradshaw being a little bit neurotic, selfish, obsessed with her relationships and certain men, and frankly a bit of a shit at times. I’m really actually fine with watching women be flawed and make bad decisions. I had chocolate for breakfast today. I am nobody’s judge.
One day I will write reams about how Sex and the City is held up to this ridiculous criticism and “it should have done better!” narrative when contemporary shows involving male characters like The Sopranos and Entourage never are. Geez, I wonder why?
Gosh, I feel all feisty writing this. Probably because I haven’t been able to flick on an episode to calm me down. All I was left with recently was the movie.
I don’t hate the movies, but they’re certainly not something I revisit. But needs must, and this particular rewatch (broken up over several days to mimic my episodic consumption of the series), filled a hole. Am I right, Samantha?
But it reminded me of an opinion I’ve been forming for some years now, because clearly my brain doesn’t want to remember things like my tax information or how Meta advertising works.
My brain wants to tell you that I think Carrie chose the wrong wedding dress for her ill-fated nuptials with Mr Big.
I know, I know, the Vivienne Westwood dress is iconic, and I’m not saying it was a bad choice. Westwood was the Queen of Punk, and her taffeta-and-silk “cloud dress” does have some very Carrie-esque elements, such as it’s general over-the-top vibe, and the pointed bust line that looks somewhat like Legolas face-planted in Carrie’s bosom.
But I really don’t think it’s aged as well as some of the other options the movie presented.
So I’m going to let you know what I think she SHOULD have chosen.
For some brief context, Carrie and Mr Big get engaged, and Enid, Carrie’s editor at Vogue, recruits her to be the face of 40 in their bridal edition.
“Vogue designers, Vogue photographers, Vogue airbrushing,” is how she sells it to an initially reluctant Carrie.
There follows a classic movie montage of Carrie in a very bougie photo studio, being snapped in a range of couture bridal wear by the best names in the business.
And listen - I’ve never had a wedding, and have never gone bridal shopping, not even with any friends who’ve gotten hitched. Something about me obviously screams “She has no bloody idea” to people, which is totes fair. I am also not a high fashion expert, nor sartorial satirist like the fabled Fashion Critical.
But what I am is someone who’s watched far too many hours of Sex and the City and knows the characters pretty darn well. If there’s anything I can go off half - or even fully - cocked about, it’s this.
So let’s take a look at what those other options were - and rank, rankity, rank, rank.
6. Christian Dior
Christian Dior invented the classic “New Look” in the immediate post-war era, once rationing eased off and you could waste large swathes of fabric on big swishy impractical skirts. The 1950s wouldn’t have looked the same without it.
This particular piece may be beautiful, and certainly over-the-top enough for Carrie, but it seems to wear her, not the other way around. Sarah Jessica Parker - and consequently Carrie Bradshaw - is a tiny person who’s probably 43kg sopping wet. All you can see is her face peeking out from beneath a hat the size of a jacuzzi.
Peeping out from under the hem are insanely crazy architectural white heels, which have a certain something, but again, just a bit too much, even for Carrie Bradshoes.
5. Vera Wang
I have a love/hate relationship with Vera Wang. Despite seeming to be slowly turning into the creature that crawls out of the television in The Ring, she can make some stellar gowns.
However, her strapless, princess-style creations inspired so much bridal couture in the 1990s and 2000s, turning it all rather bland. Even Charlotte’s first wedding dress was Vera Wang, and to me it sums up the era.
It was only the Sarah Burton-designed Alexander McQueen dress that Kate Middleton donned to marry Prince William in 2011 that ironically broke the straps of the strapless dress domination.
Of course the Wales nuptials came three years AFTER the Sex and the City movie, so strapless was very much still a Wang thing. Hence, this:
The fluffy concoction Carrie tries on is oddly reminiscent of the triumphant piece of art that was Carrie’s Versace Mille Feuille dress from the penultimate episode of the series, An American Girl in Paris, Part 1.
But whereas that gown’s tulle layers had definition, this one looks like an algae bloom attached itself to a simple strapless column sheath. Or Very Wang stapled a freshly shorn sheepskin onto the back of it, I can’t quite decide.
Either way, it just feels too cookie-cutter for Carrie Bradshaw. It feels too… rich. I know she was marrying a millionaire in who just splashed out on a pre-war penthouse apartment for them (plus custom closet renovation), but it’s too high society New York, not Carrie’s quirky West Village, high-end-meets-thrift-shop vibe.
4. Lanvin
It may seem slightly souffle-like compared to the other high-impact gowns, but this Lanvin tiered ruffle mini-dress is actually pretty Carrie.
It’s the only one that echoes Carrie’s legendary tutu from the opening credits of the show.
I think the styling and accessories lets this one down, making it more Sixties baby doll than whimsical ballerina Carrie. The oversized pearls are too heavy, too dominant. Mind you, that’s a very 2000s trend - I was still throwing out giant bauble necklaces the last time I decluttered.
The white booties don’t hold a candle to some classic Carrie Manolo pumps, and I don’t love the half-up, half-down hairdo. If they wanted to flatten Carrie’s Bottecelli-esque curls, they needed to go really big, a la Carrie strutting the catwalk in sparkly underpants in S4’s The Real Me (before the fashion roadkill moment, obvs).
3. Oscar de la Renta
This is slightly less Carrie than the previous one, but something about this overall look just elevates the dress for me.
There’s no doubt Carrie is well-suited to the brand - Alexsandr Petrovsky gives her a shocking pink highly-structured Oscar de la Renta dress in Season 6. This intricately-beaded gown flows simply and beautifully around Carrie’s frame, allowing the texture and her beauty to exist in wonderful harmony.
It’s really tough to decide exactly how Carrie should have styled her hair, because those curls are so - and yes, I know I’m both mis- and over-using this word - iconic. But I love this flamenco-inspired side bun with the huge red flower. We know flowers were a key Carrie fashion totem, particularly in season 3, so it nods to that, and its paired with matching red shoes and a striking red lip. It’s just perfection.
Interestingly I once saw Sarah Jessica Parker talking about how they gave her red lips in the Vivienne Westwood gown, which was a departure for her character. It’s true - it was about as rare to see Carrie with red lipstick on as it was to see her wearing nail polish. I wonder if the choice was to help sell the message that when Mr Big looked at her getting out of the car, urging her to see him, to calm down his pre-wedding jitters, he found her unrecognisable in the fluffy dress, heavy veil, red lip and bird on her head.
But here, the simplicity of the red accents lift this ensemble into the stratosphere. Carrie Bradshaw writes about love, damnit, and this look shows how she can claim its colour.
2. Carolina Herrera
Speaking of birds, you could be forgiven for thinking a family of them were nesting in this updo. But WHAT a bird’s nest! It’s chaotic and chic at the same time. I adore it.
The best description I can find says the “floor length, candlelight colour, basque waist, slightly curved strapless ball gown” was inspired by Audrey Hepburn’s divine race day dress from My Fair Lady, and the hair and striped ribbon absolutely bear that out.
Carrie is only seen sitting down wearing this dress, but I found a dodgy picture that gives the vertical impression.
The bell-shaped billowing below the waist is the kind of odd silhouette classic Carrie would love, but this look is truly elevated by the hair, the hairpiece and the decorative bling across the bust line. And whether it’s in character as Carrie or just actor SJP having a ball in her “how lucky am I” job - she is SHINING. There is joy in the room, and honestly, it’s hard for me to not pop this at number one on radiance alone.
But…
1. LACROIX
Patsy and Eddie had it right: Lacroix, sweetie, Lacroix.
One of Carrie’s signature hallmarks is her ability to forever mix her fashion - whether it’s fabrics, prints, shapes, colours or textures, she (or more accurately the styling team) is somehow able to patch it all together cohesively.
This dress is the ultimate fashion mixtape, a jumble of high drama and wild whimsy, and I think it works so well for Carrie.
The tiered layers of the skirt (which seem to be a clash of tulle and taffeta, but I’m happy to be corrected) add interest without being overwhelming like the Vivienne Westwood. You can’t see the front very well, but it is beaded and blingy, giving shine and shape. The jet black ribbon at the waist and opera-length gloves scream theatrical Carrie, but not obnoxiously. The straps are a sparkling silver. And the dramatic low back - decked out here with long ropes of smaller pearls - gives it vintage vibes.
It’s too much, for sure. But it’s the right kind of too much. The kind that you sometimes think you really hate, but then you come full circle again and love it. It’s couture, but also looks thrifted. It would no doubt cost a bomb, but you could almost picture Carrie sewing it together. It looks like it would be at home in the 1930s, the 1960s, and in a future civilisation.
The runway styling of this dress put it with a black oversized top hat, but the stylists here have wisely pinned Carrie’s hair back in a simple messy bun. Again, it’s a loss for the curls fans, but there’s so much of her personality in this dress, that you almost don’t notice it.
So there you have it, friends. I’ve purged my brain of this long-swirling train of thought, and finally created my definitive list. Well, at least until I watch the clip again and risk a change of mind, or indeed, a change of wardrobe.
Thanks as always to my Patreon supporters for their kindness!